Understanding the Introverts
Otis from Sex Education says “I just wanna be a guy in the corner that no one knows and they say ‘who’s that guy?’ and they go ‘He’s just a guy in the corner’”. This is the most simplistic definition of who introverts are or how they want to be seen in a society.
An introvert is a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual who resorts to seclusion from gatherings and new faces to avoid the awkwardness and exposure of his ineptness.There are numerous presumptions among the people over who introverts are and what their lifestyle is like. While a few of them are accurately correct, most of them are insanely wrong. Society has evolved in a way that it always looked at introverts as an outcast or a weirdo and the extroverts to be the most charming person. While the reasoning that people tend to like anyone who talks well is quite visible, society must also accept that Introverts are no weirdos and it’s just their way of life.
In general, Introverts tend to avoid any sort of meeting, be it an informal gathering or a formal occasion that their parents force them to. This is quite a well know fact. I have been following the same over years. I have often felt contented whenever I have been able to be alone. I have dodged the bullet of visiting relatives house numerous times citing various reasons. Though these aren’t something to be proud of, it’s just the way I seek comfort. I have been receiving polarized advice from two different sets of people. While my mom, relatives and some well wishers want me to open up and be more social, there are advises from another set of people as well to be the way we want to be and there’s nothing wrong in it.
However, of late I tried opening up to a limited extent in real life and as well online. The reason I tried opening up was I felt like missing out on interaction with people from my comfort zone though I make no actual contribution. There was this one incident where my friends had a small reunion kind of thing at the college. It contained some people from my comfort zone and there was a dilemma of whether I should skip or go for it before finally deciding to skip it. Later, I asked one of my friends how it went. The meet-up had been really fun and I really felt bad for missing it out.
As a result, I accepted an invite to play football after some reluctance with a bunch of guys that I haven’t had any interactions before. There were two obstacles. I am a beginner to football and I don’t even watch football. I obviously have no clue of the people I played with except for a couple of guys. To add pressure, one of the guys I know kept mocking me. There was this initial awkwardness that I needed to overcome. Gladly, the game was just for an hour and I was able to play with them even though it was horrendous. It was quite an experience.
Secondly, I am active in social media. I regularly post and there are a bunch of people who react to it irrespective of the post being awfully lame or amazingly great. However, I have avoided commenting on other’s post to congratulate or for any other reasons. I have even shied from wishing people on their birthday’s in the past. I changed that to gain some friends. I started commenting on posts that I would have ignored in the past and I started wishing birthday’s to people. Though not much of a big deal, it actually made a notable difference. I made a few friends in this way and more than that it sort of made me feel good to be involved in conversations.
However, it doesn’t entirely rub off the ineptitude. I still feel a bit awkward in online interactions and the sweat smile emoji has been my savior whenever I feel the conversation is turning into an embarrassing one. Although I enjoy online banters between the people I know, I don’t think I will be able to be in one. Similar to the social life online, real life interactions hasn’t become easy either. There was this abominable 10 minutes with my distant cousin where I had to make a small talk. It was dreadful until my mom came in to break the silence.
On a concluding note, Introverts are overly conscious of even the silliest of things. Be it the outfit or their hair or the way they look on a particular day. Anything and everything that makes Introverts nervous. Despite that there are some who selectively want to ‘fit-in’ for their parents or friends or girlfriends. Hence, it’s only legit if the society accepts Introverts for who they are and allow them to be the way they want to be.
Belated Introverts day wishes!
