๐— ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ก๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ

James Carnival
3 min readNov 13, 2023

Christopher found himself in an empty room with just a chair. He didn't have anything on him except for the dress he wore. The doors were locked. Weirdly, he didn't panic. He was calm and composed.

He didn't have anything to do. He dragged the chair and sat on it. Suddenly, he realised he was mentally naked. His thoughts had uninterrupted access. He froze in fear. He has never been terrified like that before. As a pessimist, he had them filtered with escapist activities such as work, sleep and gadgets hence being naked mentally sent shivers down the spine.

Before he knew, Christopher was already diving through the sea of thoughts. It was nice for a while like a silent sea. He was feeling nostalgic, thinking about the music class and the puffs he used to eat in a bakery near the school. He thought to himself that he would write about his nostalgic thoughts that kept popping once in a while. He tried to find meaning to them as to see what drove him to those thoughts but to no avail.

From nostalgia, the brain jumped down the valley called doubters valley. He started questioning the choices he had made. He was neither calm nor composed anymore. Why didn't he keep his previous job or why couldn't he approach a girl that he found nice. He had to let go of a girl that he found nice or likeable just 'cause he couldn't approach her and reveal his feelings and that one of his friends was already friends with her and he didn't feel right to proceed. He was loathing himself over the choices he made.

The self loathing pushed him to the regret deserts. He had plenty to regret. From making a silliest of mistakes in an exam entrance form in his school which led to him falling short of the cut-off marks to flunking in interviews due to his improper communication skills. He had rued several things in his life, albeit coming to peace with some, he couldn't stop wondering the "what ifs". It stung him like a bee to indulge in those thoughts. He tried to run out of the desert only to find more of it.

As he gradually ran, he found the hope sea. He affirmed himself that he would start looking at life in a positive way. He would change doing things the usual way and that he would believe that good things will happen. He felt better after the tumultuous thoughts that pushed him through his fears and regrets and questioned his life.

As he was swimming gleefully in the hope sea, he heard a noise. He couldn't make sense of it but it was deafening. He closed his ears and he started to fear for his life. He closed his eyes tightly and started to scream as loudly as he could. He stopped screaming and tried to listen to the noise. It was his thoughts that had overlapped itself and has become one big noise that's driving him to craziness. The noise stopped suddenly and the silence was even more terrifying that he could hear his heart beat. The thoughts he had were all gone. He was feeling empty for the first time in a long while.

He opened his eyes. He found himself at a train station waiting for the train with announcements being made about the train reaching the station shortly. He had dozed off waiting for the train. Christopher could remember the dream or nightmare, he didn't know for sure. He grinned and prepared his luggage.

He wondered what it was all about. It all felt real. Christopher tried to make sense of it. Failing to do so, he thought he would at least write about it. This is Christopher.

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